Category Archives: Purpose

Perspective From a Recovered Victimist

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A Fallen World:

Evil lurks in all corners of the globe and expresses itself in many ways. Wars, terrorism, domestic violence, sexual assault, racial injustice, and other hate crimes seem to fill the front-page day after day.

While suffering is inevitable, we do not have to allow past sufferings to keep us in bondage. Life is too short to allow hardships to define us or keep us from growing into what we were made to become.

I do not write this to minimize anyone’s hardships or to suggest that the journey to overcome is a simple one.  Rather I write this to help bring understanding on how we may be able to disassemble one of the most powerful strongholds in our world, the metal roadblock that keeps so many people in bondage.

Overcomers:

As a business owner, and leadership coach with a primary responsibility of helping individuals grow into what they were meant to be, I have had the privileged of sitting across the table from hundreds of individuals over the years. Nothing gives me greater pleasure than to help someone get past their personal roadblocks and discover their purpose in this world.

Over the years I have noticed some distinct common threads that nearly all the most successful people in history possess. The greatest characteristic is that they are overcomers. They all faced many obstacles such as oppression, physical disadvantages, economical disadvantages, and competitive opposition, but somehow pushed through to acquire the place they seemed to be destined to reach.

While there are external forces all around us that wage war against our personal success, I have found that the obstacles we glorify in our heads present the greatest obstacles. The limitations we allow to exist in our own thoughts far outweighs the external circumstances we must overcome. The reason they are so hard to overcome is because we think these ideas are supposed to help us.  Theseh forces have an appearance of wisdom but have an inverse consequence that keeps us in emotional bondage. We push these buttons harder and more often with unintended consequences, and it seems things only get worse. Much like struggling to free yourself from quicksand we set the stage for our own demise.

Victimism:

I believe that the greatest roadblock for many in this generation is a victim mentality. I will use the term “Victimism” to describe this state of mind.  A person who embraces victim mentality would be a victimist.  To be clear, there is a difference between a victim and a victimist.  We are all victims of circumstances and evil behavior pointed toward us at times in our lives.  Some far more than others.  Victimists embrace a victim mentality as a defense mechenism. Not all victims are victimists, many are overcomers. Not all victimists are victims, they tend to play the part for personal gain (as I did). Many victims use their experience to become victimists. Victimism comes natural to most people. It is also taught and encouraged by other vicitmists.

The Urban Dictionary says:

“Victimism can similarly be defined as a kind of philosophy whereby one chooses to perpetually see one’s self as a victim of some sort for the purpose of accruing sympathy and empathy. The ultimate purpose of victimism is simply to attain social power, influence, and status by exploiting the well-meaning sympathies and good intentions of the general populace for its social/political support. If one “plays the victim” one can gain power and influence by exploiting the sympathies of the masses.”

Successful people encounter hardship just like everyone else.  Sometimes the hardships make them even stronger. Individuals that have been protected from hardship are ill-equipped for success and find they have not been prepared to go the extra mile. It takes a measure of persistent struggle to develop a finely tuned agent of victory.  The greater the obstacle, the greater the achievement.

Michael Jordan has a ferocious personality that is bent towards overcoming.  The more you tell him he cannot do, the more determined he is to prove you wrong.  There is no victimism in his head. This persistent mindset is common amongst high performing athletes, leaders and top-level performers in any field.

Responsibility and Victimism

Make no mistakes, victimism is not a responsible position to embrace. It is what happens when people run from responsibility.  It fills the gap left behind. Victimism gives you the excuse for why you have not reached a higher level of success.  It allows you to be blameless in your quest for justification. Victimism focuses on the outward circumstances as the determining factor or blame for your own inadiquate status.

I believe victimism is the mindset that keeps people stuck far more than their external circumstances. It is the mindset that keeps us in bondage.

Overcomers will always tell you that they are NOT a victim. They will go to great lengths to make sure they are not perceived as such. They understand that overcoming and victimism are in direct opposition to one other.  Once they experience the freedom of escaping victimism, their eyes are opened and they are able to see their lives and future with more clarity and certainty.  You may be a victim in your mind, but you don’t have to stay that way. You cannot simultaneously be both a victimist and an overcomer.  One requires a fixed mindset, the other a growth mindset.

Principles of an Overcomer:

People who overcome victimism have several mental principles that they have discovered and adopted as their personal mantras for success:

  • Overcomers take 100% responsibility for their lives. They understand that what they achieve is going to depend on their desire to overcome rather than helplessness that comes from obstacles placed in their path by other people.
  • Overcomers have a “No Excuses” mindset. They do not push responsibility onto others as they once did when they were a victimist.  They own up to mistakes, make amends and pay restitution when appropriate.  They are quick to apologize and slow to point fingers or place blame on others.
  • Overcomers are problem solvers – They look forward and focus on solutions, not backwards toward blame. They are looking for resolution, not justification or blamelessness.
  • Overcomers believe that “No one owes me anything”. They are not entitled and do not believe their success depends on anyone else.
  • Overcomers have Appreciation – They appreciate everything they have been given and don’t dwell on whay they have not.
  • Overcomers don’t feel sorry for themselves. They don’t embrace self-pity or try to gain sympathy from others.  Because of this, they have a stronger self-image.
  • Overcomers are not quitters. They do not focus on the suffering. They focus on the outcome that comes through personal perseverance. They expect pain.  It is the cost of success, always.
  • Overcomers don’t have a need to embellish the truth to change people’s perceptions. They thrive on exposing the truth rather than manipulating it for personal gain.
  • Overcomers want to help other people to face their own victimism so they can overcome as well. They have discovered something great and want to share it with the world.
  • Overcomers do not surround themselves with victimists. They surround themselves with overcomers.

I’ve Been There:

In full transparency, I was a victimist for nearly half of my life.  During that time, I didn’t even know that I was.  It was like I had a vail over my eyes. Victimism has been in my family all of my life and I was systematically trained up with this mindset.  I didn’t know any other way. I learned that emotional manipulation as the ultimate survival technique.

As a young adult, I had been hurt and was angry at my parents, and most everyone. Due to a divorce, my mother, younger brother and sister were struggling just like me and I was angry that my siblings were put in this situation at such a young age. Our world had been turned upside down. It seemed like everyone had abandoned us, either physically or emotionally. It felt like that, because I was a victimist. Reality was a bit different, less dramatic. My mind puffed up my plight.

I was a victim in a minor sense, but then I quickly became a victimist. It was easier than growing up and facing responsibility for my own life. It was easy to make someone else responsible for who I have become.  I embraced it and used it as my shield.  It was my mask that kept everyone else from seeing my scars and my ugly wounded heart. With my mask, I didn’t have to grow up. It gave me a free pass by lowering everyone’s expectation of me, including my own. In my mind, I wasn’t to blame for my failures. Victimism didn’t expect anything from me, nor did I.

The Hope:

But, there is hope. Through a time of self-discovery I became face to face with the truth about myself. At 23 years old, I was about to take responsibility for my life for the first time EVER…

To hear the rest of this story please contact me and I would be glad to share how I overcame victimism.  joelsmith123@yahoo.com

How Rockstar Restaurant Leaders Build a Rockstar Staff

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Restaurant leaders realize how important it is to have quality people on your staff.  People are the building block of all businesses.  Nothing is more important.

  • Every food order gets made by a person,
  • Every customer has their order brought to them by a person.
  • Every business decision is made by a person.
  • All problems are caused by people and solved by people.
  • Nothing happens in a restaurant that isn’t affected positively, or negatively, by efforts of people.

The most important responsibility for a restaurant leader is to recruit, hire and keep quality people. So why do so few restaurant leaders do it well?

I am a firm believer in the Pareto Principle, otherwise known as the 80/20 principle. This principle says:

  • 20% of our efforts lead to 80% of our results.
  • 20% of your people are responsible for 80% of your production.
  • 20% of the people make 80% of the decisions.
  • 80% of the money is owned by 20% of the people.
  • 80% of our problems are caused by 20% of our habits.

I have seen this principle played in the service industry over and over again.  The top 20% of restaurant leaders attract the top 80% of the most qualified employees.  The bottom 80% of restaurant leaders are left with the remaining 20%.

If you could measure the effectiveness of each of the restaurant leaders in your city or metro area, you could distinguish the top 20% from the bottom 80%. The 80/20 principle says there is a significant different between how the average top 20% leader, operates verses the average of the bottom 80%.

I will call the top 20% Rockstar Restaurant Leaders (because that is what they are).  The bottom 80% I will call Mediocre Managers (because that is what they are willing to settle for).

The problem? 

Mediocre Managers generally have one thing in common.  They manage according to what feels natural.  It is that simple. Mediocre Managers typically do as little as they have to, instead of doing as much as they can. It is the popular mindset of our current culture of managers in the service industry. And this is exactly what provides the top 20% of the leaders a distinct advantage.

Here are 3 Ways Rockstar Restaurant Leaders build their kingdom with Rockstar Employees.

  1. Rockstar Restaurant Leaders have a Winning Mind-set.

Mediocre Managers adopt a scarcity mindset when it comes to staffing their store.  They believe the available prospects are poor candidates. It seems all the good people are taken.  In their case, they may be right.  They may have created this environment.

They are discouraged by people failing to show up for interviews or show up on their second day of work.  They believe that the results from recruiting people are not worth the time they are required to put in.  Many of these managers, find it difficult to let go of underperforming employees. There is no one to replace them with.  So, they think.

Rockstar Restaurant Leaders have an abundance mindset. They fully understand that the quality of their staff is 100% up to them.  They believe there are plenty of great candidates out there, they just need to go get them. They are intentional about creating a margin of time. They develop resources to maximize their recruiting efforts. They understand that nothing is more important.

Mediocre Mangers will blame the job market and lose hope. They will wait with skepticism for quality employees to walk through their door. They leave the future of their staff up to chance.  They are a victim of their circumstances and play that role well.  Being short staffed is their default expectation sealing their destiny.

“Once there were 3 bricklayers. Each one of them was asked what they were doing. The first man answered gruffly, ‘I’m laying bricks.’ The second man replied, ‘I’m putting up a wall.’ But the third man said enthusiastically and with pride, ‘I’m building a cathedral.’” –Author Unknown

In her mind a Rockstar Restaurant Leader is building a cathedral!  Don’t settle for being a bricklayer.

  1. Rockstar Restaurant Leaders are Magnets.

They are the glue that holds everything together.  They are honest, hardworking people who care about their team.  They understand how to cast a vision that motivates their people to become the best they can be.  They are not dependent on anyone, yet they don’t work independent of the organization. Rockstar Restaurant Leaders understand the importance of inter-dependence.

“You will get all you want in life, if you help enough other people get what they want.” Zig Zigler

If you want to have the best staff, you have to be the best leader. We are competing for the best people. Sometimes you don’t even have to be the greatest leader to have an excellent staff. You just need to be a step above all the underperforming managers out there. There lies our opportunity. The Mediocre Managers have set the bar pretty low.  We need to decide to rise above the level of mediocrity.

People believe that our current job market is the most difficult in decades. That’s only because they want to reap what they have not sown.  We have the best opportunity to create a Rockstar staff than ever before.  We need to be a better leader, provide a better place for the better people to go. When we do, people will follow.

I have mentioned the following to several people over the years. Sometimes it has not been received well.  I suspect that believing it makes it difficult to blame external circumstances.

There are people out there that are great at staffing a team. Wherever they go they always attract the better people and tend to retain better people.   No matter the local job trends or unemployment rate, these leaders will establish a quality team in a short amount of time. Wherever they go they leave a wake of superior teams.  They are Rockstar Restaurant Leaders and they create their own opportunities.

  1. Rockstar Restaurant Leaders find the RIGHT people and remove the WRONG people.

The wrong employees take up space leaving no room for the right employees.  Mediocre Managers goal is to find enough employees to fill the schedule and try not to lose them.  They don’t like to recruit so they put off recruiting until they fall behind.

The eagles get tired of working with turkeys and fly the coop. The result is they are always running behind playing catch up surrounded by turkeys they can’t fire.  In our company we call this backwards leverage.

There is a lie out there in the service industry that suggests that turnover is BAD!  I say turning over eagles is BAD! however turning over turkeys is GOOD!   Learn to embrace the eagles by intentionally turning over the bottom 25% of your crew (the turkeys).  Those that master this will create the space required to build a Rockstar Staff. Eagles will flock to an environment like this.

The RRL does not compromise on finding quality people.  The eagles appreciate the high standards and the turkeys don’t fit in.  One by one the RRL begins to build their team one eagle at a time, building a core group that stands out above the crowd.

If you need help becoming a Rockstar Restaurant Leader, please contact me.

 

 

Six Things Rockstar Restaurant Leaders DON’T Do

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RockstarRockstar Restaurant Leaders are the men and women that make the restaurant industry go around.  These are the leaders that people run through walls for.  They have a certain ability to get things done when others fall behind.  When a Rockstar Restaurant Leader is in the house, everyone knows their Captain is running the ship, and everything is all good.

These extraordinary people come in all different sizes and shapes. They very in personality types and skillsets.  They have many different styles and temperaments, and sometimes seem to have little in common apart from their effectiveness.

I have discovered that Rockstar Restaurant Leaders have several things in common that they DON’T do.

1. The don’t waste their time indulging in self-pity.  They have far too many more important things to do to waste any time feeling sorry for themselves.  They are focused on a bigger picture than simply their felt needs.

Self-pity is the ultimate time waster.  People who are easily offended or need others to affirm them, have a hard time directing their focus away from themselves.  When you are always looking inward, you can’t see the big picture or the goal at the end of the road.

2. They don’t make excuses for their mistakes or shortcomings. You may have heard the saying “If you want to keep your excuses from making you useless, stop making useless excuses.”

Blamelessness is a value that too many people feel emotionally driven to uphold.  They believe people will look down on them and “Judge” them if, God forbid, they have to admit a mistake in front of people.

Unfortunately many people believe that their identity is tied to their mistakes or failures.  When people fail, they believe they ARE a failure.  Rockstars.. well, they seek out opportunities to fail.  That’s how they learn to tackle problems, seek out solutions and make people better.

Failure is their building block to problem solving.  Rock Star Restaurant Leaders are great problem solvers.

3. They don’t go into their adventures any less than fully committed.  You will never accomplish anything to a greater level than you are committed to.  Our commitments define and raise our ceiling.  When we are working on moving up the chain of command, we don’t necessarily need to commit long term to our position or even the company we work for.  But we do need to be fully committed to the position we have and the responsibilities placed before us.  We need to be fully committed to give your best efforts and attention to adding value to the people around you.

Too many people fail to commit to anything.  Afterall, why should we do more than we are getting paid to do?  SO PEOPLE WILL SEE US AS VALUABLE.  Our value comes from the amount of value we add to our employer, to our customers and to our team that we work with.  That is our one job.  Make things better for everyone around you.  We need to get to the other side!  You can’t do that with one ore in the water.

4. They don’t stay the same. Rockstar Restaurant Leaders are hungry.  They are driven to constantly be working on improving their skills, their attitude and their ability to influence their team.

RRL’s are not really motivated by incentive plans and bonuses.  They appreciate them, but they are more driven by a dream of becoming great at what they do. Not just a Rock Star, but a Super Hero Rockstar. They have a vision of what they will become and they visit that image in their head every day.  It is what makes them lose sleep at night thinking about it.  They have the ability to look past the everyday obstacles and keep their focus on the road ahead.

If you want to have something you don’t have, you have to do something you have never done.  Your future depends 100% on what you do to make yourself a greater person.

5. They don’t take shortcuts or take the easy way out when others aren’t looking.  They understand what it means to be exceptional.  Exceptional people don’t blend in.  The go to great lengths to stand out from the crowd.  They understand that the crowd is just fine with mediocre and that creates a clear path to getting ahead.  Sometimes it’s not how great we are, it’s about what we refuse to settle for.

RRL’s do not operate independently.  They are not attracted to chaos or rebelliousness that come with a free spirit.  They have long graduated from their dependent, and independent phase of life and embrace the need for interdependence.  They are fully accountable for all of their actions and enjoy the freedom that accompanies transparency.  They draw near to other people seeking excellence.  As iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another.

6. They don’t feel that anyone owes them anything. They do not have a sense of entitlement.  Our current situation in life is the sum total of all of the decisions we have made to this point. We are not limited by our circumstances. Whatever we accomplish, we have to earn.  No one is going to give it to us.

Many people are more focused on what they have coming to them, affirmation, a raise, promotion or to be recognized for the greatness they are.  Being labeled and rewarded as a Rockstar is more important to some people than becoming a Rockstar.

A True Rockstar finds comfort knowing that they are worth more than they are being paid at the present time.  They don’t mind because they fully understand that their future wage is 100% dependent on them, not their circumstances.  They enjoy having the job security of knowing how valuable they are to the team and their employer.  An overpaid employee, as good as they may be is still OVER paid.  They have negative value.  This means the company would be better off if they didn’t have them, hence the term over paid.

As a RRL continues to stretch the margin of their value. They create space for potential financial gain by polishing themselves as a coveted gem. A person who over achieves will always have people knocking on their door to offer them more responsibility that leads to more money.  Creating a margin of value creates options for your future. Go get yourself some options!

What is it that you need to NOT do?

The Dangers of Following the Crowd

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Most of us have heard our parents say “If all your friends jumped off a bridge, does that mean that you would too?” My answer was, “Well if the bridge is narrow and there was a speeding car coming at us, then yes!”

The truth is that there are times when following the crowd can be safe, secure and justified. Following the crowd can also give us a false sense of security. It can make us numb to the dangers that may be down the road. We have this delusion that the masses can’t be all wrong, and even if they are, at least I will be in the company of others like me.

Billy Joel wrote “I’d rather laugh with the sinners than cry with the saints. The sinners are much more fun. You know that only the good die young.”

As we look back over the history of life on this planet, we see many patterns of individuals following the crowd. We see this in every war, every election and every cultural trend. It happens in the media, in the supermarkets and in every religion in the world. Sometimes crowds don’t even need a leader to take them there. In unison we take the route of least resistance, whatever feels good at the time or meets an immediate need. Billy Joel gave us a classic example of the blind leading the blind.

There is a branch of social psychology that studies crowd behavior. They look at the behavior of both individual members of the crowd, as well as the crowd as a whole. They have discovered a correlation between crowd behavior and responsibility of the individuals.

Individuals that take full responsibility are much more likely to move away from the crowd. They choose their own results independent of popular opinion. Those who avoid responsibility find comfort and stimulation from groups of likeminded people. Social acceptance makes it easier to justify their thoughts or behavior. Confirmation bias fuels the illusion and perpetuates the feelings that encourage their position. It’s is not hard to influence someone to do what their nature already wants to do.

The emotions of a crowd headed down a path that aligns with their desires can be appealing. These feelings can grow as the group grows, leading to a movement. This is where the danger of following the crowd begins

Every destructive influence has a touch of appeal that tantalizes our senses. It is just enough to get us interested. Every world religion, political view or philosophy of life can tempt our allegiance. It can be difficult to identify where we fail to line up with reality. It’s amazing how individuals can feel so strongly about popular ideas they know little about.

There is a basic human need to align ourselves with the crowd. We all have the need for acceptance and to find significance in what we do. We have a desire to be a part of something bigger than ourselves. The problem is we can tend to be short sighted and seek to have these needs met at the cost of a much bigger picture. We all do this to some extent. Some people are people pleasers seeking affirmation. Some are black and white thinkers in need of certainty. Others are running away from responsibility looking for relief. Either way we find comfort in numbers.

There is a great quote from my favorite book.

“Enter through the narrow gate. For wide is the gate and broad is the road that leads to destruction, and many enter through it. But small is the gate and narrow the road that leads to life, and only a few find it.” Mat 7:13-14

Travelling the “broad road” is quite easy to do. It is by far the most popular route. It assures you of your freedom to be in control of your own destination and requires no commitment. It give the appearance of a much easier route than the option of the narrow gate. There is no sign at the beginning of the road that says “Road to Destruction”. If there were, it would lose some of its appeal. “Broad Road” is much more soothing to the eye and non-offensive.

On the “broad road”, there is no disclaimer, only the promise of not being alone or accountable. There is no promise of any specific destination, nor is there even a map to how you may get there.

Lewis Carroll summed this up well in Alice in Wonderland:

“Alice: Would you tell me, please, which way I ought to go from here?

The Cheshire Cat: That depends a good deal on where you want to get to.

Alice: I don’t much care where.

The Cheshire Cat: Then it doesn’t much matter which way you go.

Alice: …So long as I get somewhere.

The Cheshire Cat: Oh, you’re sure to do that, if only you walk long enough.”

So why do only a few find their way through the narrow gate? …I would say it is because so few are even looking for it. The majority of people are not looking, or willing to take the road less traveled that leads to a full life. Some believe they are taking the narrow gate, only to find out they have been on the same broad path as everyone else. Taking the narrow gate has an immediate admission price that most are not willing to pay.

If you want to know where your path is taking you, just take an honest look at where you have been, and where you are now. If the trajectory doesn’t seem to be travelling in a favorable direction, you may be on the “broad road”.

“If you do not change direction, you may end up where you are heading.” Lao Tzu

If you want to know what path you are on, just look around you. Are you surrounded by people that lift you up and contribute to your well-being? Do you find significance in your hard work and feel great about your impact on others around you? If so, you are likely on the narrow path or at least headed that direction.

You are the sum total of the people that you are closest to. If your assessment of your inner circle doesn’t pass the sniff test. You may need to change to a new path that includes others who are experiencing life to its fullest. The good news is that there are many, you only need to join their path.

If you think your current life is a result of exterior circumstances out of your control or bad luck, you are on the “broad path”. This is the signature belief of the broad-pathalogians. If you don’t know how you ended up on this path, don’t blame the path or crowd. You went along with them. Even if you stayed on your default path, you could have chosen a different one. Others can choose a different path for you, but they can’t make you take it.

You always have a choice, and that choice is 100% your responsibility to make. No one will ever grab you, kicking and screaming, and force you to enter through the narrow gate. We all get to freely choose our own path. Choose wisely.

If you are struggling with your direction personally or professionally, please contact me. I would love to have a cup of coffee with you.

How Are You Branding Yourself?

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You are branded, whether you know it or not.  We all are.  Every, company, team and every individual.

When you think of branding, you probably think of marketing or advertising.  Branding is all around us. TV, radio, websites, social media, signs and billboards and even on our clothing.  The idea behind commercial branding is to make an impression on you that will be remembered. It will prompt you to take action to enter into a positive transaction. We try to distinguish our service or product, as having a greater benefit than other options.

Branding increases our opportunities. The reason branding is so effective is because it allows the consumer to take a peek behind the mask.  It helps them see what we are all about.  Consumers want to know what we stand for and what our mission is. Why should they trust us, and most of all, what you are going to do for them.

Branding can be used in many ways. It is used as an agent of influence.  It helps the world see our “best” side, hoping to keep our “work in progress” side non-visible.  It can also be used to connect with people through transparency and authenticity.  Regardless of the branding motives, the consumers will always determine effectiveness.  They will always have the last say.

Think about successful companies like McDonalds, Chick filA, Apple, Disney and Toyota.  They generally have great credibility in the eyes of consumers.  People are fanatics because of how these brands make them feel. How they make their world just a little better.  It is an experience, not just a product.

Not all branding ends up as initially planned.   When you hear the name Enron, you remember the scandal that took the whole company down along with many associated business’s. How about “New Coke”?  Back in 1985 they thought they were on to something great only to find out their consumers wanted the “Old Coke” back.  They had some damage control to do.  I am sure Pepsi got a chuckle.

In one way branding is sharing “who you are”, or at least who you wish for them to think you are. Who you are will largely determine whether they wish to continue with you.  This is true with companies, products, services and even individuals.  We like to think that what we brand is exactly what others will perceive.  What ever people perceive defines your brand.

Over the past year or so I have been hearing more and more about “personal branding”.  This is not a new concept, but it has been popping up more and more lately.  There must be something more to it.  Personal branding is much like any other branding. It is intentionally building credibility in the eyes of others. Personal branding can increase your opportunities if done effectively.

Those who are not on the front line of marketing or sales, you too are branding yourself, whether you know it or not.  Someone may ask “But I am a retail manager, how am I branding myself?” Your customers, employees, and your supervisors are continually evaluating “who you are”.  They determine what you represent by what they see in you. This is how we as humans determine level of trust.  We do it subconsciously, without even knowing we are doing it.  It’s not only what you say about yourself, but more importantly, your actions and behaviors.  You won’t always behave according to what you say, but you will always behave according to who you truly are.

This brings me to the heart of personal branding.  Some would say that your actions will determine “who you are”.  I say “who you are” will determine your actions.  When you do things or behave in ways that are generally not in line with who you really are, you may find yourself running out of mojo, and reverting back to who you really are.  This is the reason you don’t generally see the real person is on the first date.  In most every case, given time, who they really are comes out. This hold true with new employees and new leaders on the scene.  There is such an emphasis on first impressions (and they are important), but not enough emphasis on continued impressions.

“Some would say that your actions will determine “who you are”.  I say “who you are” will determine your actions.”

We can’t fake it for long. An honest person doesn’t need to remember what they told people.  A caring person doesn’t need to pretend to care. And a person with emotional intelligence doesn’t need to hold their anger in.  When “who you are” stands out above others as excellence, others will go out of their way to be part of what you are doing. When “who you are”, regardless of what you say stands out negatively, others will go out of their way to avoid you.  Who I am will determine my personal brand.

The effectiveness of any leader is determined by their personal brand. This isn’t always realized by the leader.  When a leader justifies himself by his own assessment of his work, or by his intentions or desires, he misses out on one of the most important resources he has. The truth as seen by others. We love to hear others tell us how much they like our brand, but when it comes to a hard honest evaluation, most of us too often turn a blind eye.  We don’t want to know about the bad stuff.

Protect your personal brand like it is the key to all future opportunities, BECAUSE IT IS!

Your future opportunities will depends on the impression you leave on everyone who crosses paths with you.  This is your wake that you leave behind.  You will either be a magnet that attracts others to your personal brand, or something less.  If you  don’t offer the world anything remarkable, don’t be surprised if others don’t seek out your un-remarkableness.

In your workplace, if you show stress and fail to keep your emotions in check, you are branding yourself.  If you believe you are always right, and are condescending to people, you are branding yourself.  If you show up late and take short-cuts, you are branding yourself.  If you are more concerned over results than you are people, you are branding yourself.  If you fail to take full responsibility for your actions, make excuses and blame others, you are branding yourself,  Likewise if your actions line up with values such as integrity, commitment, personal growth, transparency and kindness, you are branding yourself.

“If you  don’t offer the world anything remarkable, don’t be surprised if others don’t seek out your un-remarkableness.”

If you are struggling with your personal brand, or if others are struggling with YOUR personal brand, don’t give up.  There is hope.  You can learn to improve your brand by first beginning to change what you believe about yourself.  You can’t change what others see in you (your brand), until YOU change what you see in you.

You have the ability to brand yourself to make an impact in your workplace, your family, in your community.

If you want to make sure you are displaying a positive impression that will lead to opportunities, you’ll need to be willing to change your perspective. You may benefit from finding a person that has the skills and desire to coach you to become the brand you know you can be, and wish to display to others.

I would be glad to discuss with you the opportunity to help you change your personal brand.  You can change “Who you are”.

Step Up and Stand Out!

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“You were put on this earth to achieve your greatest self, to live out your purpose, and to do it courageously.”
― Steve Maraboli, 

You were set aside for greatness.  Very few people believe that to be true.  Sometimes life experiences, bad worldviews and a misunderstanding about reality paint a different picture of our lives, and our future.  What we think about ourselves matters most, especially concerning what we will accomplish in life and the workplace.

A Crisis in our Workplace

There is something very wrong with our workplace culture today.  People look at work not as opportunity or mission but rather as a necessary evil to stay alive.  Work ethic seems to be at an all-time low as people struggle to find a worthy endeavor to leverage their efforts.  There are many opposing ideas out there telling us that our efforts won’t really matter much, our dreams likely won’t come true no matter what we do.

There seems to be a sense of hopelessness.  It’s not that there are limited opportunities. Businesses are hiring all over the place. It seems there are fewer good opportunities being offered. The key words here “being offered”.

divided(1)James Harter (cbs.com) says -” Of the country’s approximately 100 million full-time employees, 51 percent aren’t engaged at work — meaning they feel no real connection to their jobs, and thus they tend to do the bare minimum. Another 16 percent are “actively disengaged” — they resent their jobs, tend to gripe to co-workers and drag down office morale as a result.”

People feel stuck, like their options have been limited.  For many, what once was a healthy ambition to do something they love, has turned out to be a surrendering, a conforming to the mediocre means.  Our circumstances have shackled many of us, and left us with a sense of helplessness and hopelessness, so it seems.

I have also noticed that there are a greater number of people in the marketplace who  fail to see the future as a place to capitalize on accumulated experience and success. They see the future as a place of darker and more cynical circumstances than the past. It seems as though our opportunities are depreciating as we go through time.  As we age, we anticipate diminishing physical and mental skills, but more so we fear falling behind the cultural and technological curve.  It’s like the tractor pull effect, the further you go, the more resistance increases, until you eventually become incapable of maintaining and come to a screeching halt. So many people don’t see any future of retirement or health benefits available to them and they fear how that will play out.

“Blending in” as a Valueblending

We find a sense of comfort in blending in with others around us.  We all long for fellowship with relationships with our fellow man and are willing to compromise much to get it.  It is so much easier to join the crowd, go wherever they go and value what they value. We experience little resistance from others when we stick to cultural trends and speak the language.  In the land of complainers, complaining is the highest form of expression.  Is it any wonder so many people are slave to their surroundings, slave to the path of least resistance, and slave to the imaginary fences that are their circumstances? You will never have to be alone if you choose that path. Ever heard the expression “misery loves company”?

Sometimes we sell out to blend in, and have peace with our surroundings, only to wage war against our very soul that wishes to escape and be free.

Surrendering your Power

When we come to rely on everyone else to present us opportunities for our financial, emotional and professional needs, we give all power to everyone else to have our needs met. We become dependent on our surroundings to provide for us.  Dependency on others becomes the constant theme in our lives. Blame becomes our mantra, when the people and environment we depend on let us down.  This is the essence of victim thinking.

If you do not determine your priorities for your life, someone else will.  And believe it or not, they may not have your best interest in mind.

Our circumstances are always temporary, unless you choose to make them permanent by giving your power away. We need to stop putting our future in the hands of everyone else and the circumstances they create for us, and embrace our future as 100% our sole responsibility.  Why should you allow others to put a lid on your potential?

So Where is the Hope?

Titus 3:4-7 NIV “But when the kindness and love of God our Savior appeared, he saved us, not because of righteous things we had done, but because of his mercy. He saved us through the washing of rebirth and renewal by the Holy Spirit, whom he poured out on us generously through Jesus Christ our Savior, so that, having been justified by his grace, we might become heirs having the hope of eternal life.”

1 Corinthians 6:9-11 “…But you were washed, you were sanctified, you were justified in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ and by the Spirit of our God.”

Washed to be Set Apart

If you are a believer in Jesus Christ, you are washed and experience rebirth by the Holy Spirit.  We are sanctified or ‘set apart’ for a great mission that includes your whole being.

sactified

Romans 12:2 “Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind.”

If you are not a person of faith, the process is still similar in the workplace (but more difficult and not eternal).  Your hope is to change, to be different, to let go or separate yourself from the patterns that you have embraced, and the excuses that are holding you back and keeping you from being effective.

Sanctification is to be set apart, reserved for something.  This is the opposite of blending in or status quo.

2 Corinthians 6:17 Therefore, “Come out from them and be separate”, says the Lord.

God doesn’t necessarily set us apart or change our external circumstances, although he may (see Jonah).  He changes us internally so we can grow and change our own circumstances and help others with theirs.  It’s not about changing where we are.  The grass isn’t any greener if you take your troubles with you.  It’s about a change in who we are, by choosing.

Step Up and Stand Out

When we allow, Christ do direct our inner being, we are no longer controlled by, or dependent on the people around us, or our circumstances.  Our true opportunities come when a seed of grace is planted in our hearts by our savior.  This seed creates a burden based on compassion and conviction. It then turns into vision, vision seeks out opportunities to step up and stand out to lead the charge to better ourselves. stand out It inspires us to better our environment, and improve circumstances for everyone.  If no such burden exists, you may want to examine your current ideas and beliefs about the world, and reconsider them considering a grander picture. They may not be adequate to bring about a life of significance.

 

I dare you to step up to the calling that God has created you for, and be willing to stand out among your peers as one set apart for great works of service.  Get up off your couch, turn the TV off, and do something great for someone!

Get Out From Under That Bowl!

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We have a problem in our country, in our world.  People don’t seem to value themselves much.  Suicide rates are up, people aren’t taking care of themselves physically, intellectually or emotionally. More and more people lack confidence and motivation to work towards significance.  So many in our culture seem to be defeated, they don’t seem to see any light or reason to even try to move forward.  They are stuck and feel helpless and hopeless with nothing real to believe in.

Is it any wonder people feel this way when they look around and see the philosophy of this world?  We live primarily in a country that the majority of people believe that there is no real lasting purpose in life.  Even people who claim to follow a belief system that includes a purpose tend to live as if there isn’t.  I meet so many people who don’t have anyone telling them otherwise. There doesn’t seem to be any light coming in the window to shine on them.

Jesus has an entirely different perspective on our value.

“You are the light of the world. A city on a hill cannot be hidden. Neither do people light a lamp and put it under a bowl. Instead they put it on its stand, and it gives light to everyone in the house.In the same way, let your light shine before men, that they may see your good deeds and praise your Father in heaven.”  Mat 5:14-16

If you are in a position of influence but failing to influence, I challenge you to Get Out From Under That Bowl!

John Maxwell says that we cannot add value to others until we add value to ourselves.  The way we treat and value others is less of how we view them and more about how we view ourselves.  If we don’t believe we have significant value, we won’t think others have significant value.  This is the Mirror Principle.

  • Honest people give others the benifit of the doubt,
  • Thieves believe everyone steals,
  • Trusting people see others as trustworthy,
  • Selfish people are always assuming the worst in others, 
  • Caring people see others as compassionate,
  • People with little confidence don’t have much confidence in others,

Cultural Influence

The truth is that our culture is lying to you.  You do have value, your potential is unlimited and open and available for you to discover.  You do have a purpose and it’s your responsibility to find out what it is.  No one can hold you back without your permission. Choice of thought is the most powerful tool you have.

If you are one who believes you hold little value… Get over yourself and do something about it!  Break your chains of bondage. People are counting on you even if you don’t realize it.  Imagine a line of people waiting to receive something of value from you that they desperately need… and you don’t show up.  From the looks of our world, it appears most are not showing up.

“A city on a hill cannot be hidden. Neither do people light a lamp and put it under a bowl.”

You were created in the image of God for a specific purpose.  When you find your purpose it will bring meaning and value to your heart.  When you discover your gift to the world, you will begin to love yourself and value yourself as God values you, not the way the world values you. 

“For everyone who asks receives; he who seeks finds; and to him who knocks, the door will be opened.”  Mat 7:8

Contact me, lets chat.

Reason To Be

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One of the hardest challenges we face as human beings on this earth is to find a reason to be. Purpose seems to be the one thing that you absolutely need to have in order to garnish any sense of worth. Most people have spent much time searching for it but struggle to find it. Sure, people do lots of things on purpose for lots of different reasons, but to tie them together for a bigger more important reason outside of there own need seems to be less popular than our Presidential candidates.

The Search

The search for purpose in life differs depending on your worldview and sometimes it doesn’t even seem to be necessary.  If you believe that ‘what is real’ is limited only to what is “natural”, any purpose for your own life is limited to a finite perspective that seems to lead to the same ending no matter how you slice it. Life is short and then you die.

You may find a temporary purpose but in the end it all seems like a vacation without a destination.  Being part of a story without an author leads people to become authors without a story.

There are too many people in our world without a story.  We position ourselves as authors of our own life but fail to find a story worth telling.  It’s seems so easy to come to the conclusion that there is no real lasting hope in our world, that we can only seek temporary satisfaction while we are here.

“Being part of a story without an author, leads people to become authors without a story.”

The book of Ecclesiastes sums this up pretty well.  The following was written by a man that came to the same conclusion.  Solomon takes a long hard look at what the world looks like “under the sun” (apart from a Creator).  He wrote the book of Ecclesiastes as a journal of his journey to find purpose.

Ecc 1:1-4 “The words of the Teacher, son of David, king in Jerusalem: “Meaningless! Meaningless!” says the Teacher.“Utterly meaningless! Everything is meaningless.”What do people gain from all their labors at which they toil under the sun?  Generations come and generations go, but the earth remains forever.  1:14 “I have seen all the things that are done under the sun; all of them are meaningless, a chasing after the wind.”

It’s not just Solomon the author of the book of Ecclesiastes that came to the conclusion that apart from a Creator “life is meaningless”.   In fact, what other conclusion can you possibly come up with?!  It’s no wonder we have so many people walking around with nothing to say, noting to believe in and no reason to be.

Broken Dreams

So, what if I bought my daughter a Birthday present, hid it in the shed outside, then told her she had to find it if she wanted it, but also told her it is somewhere in the house and she would not need to look outside?  She would begin her search with much excitement and her anticipation would grow as her expectation of receiving something nice that her father has personally handpicked just for her.  I can imagine her looking all around the house, behind furniture, under beds, closets, and eventually in the cupboards and in the bathroom.  Ultimately her excitement would turn to frustration, and then later on she would begin to get upset and give up.  She would surely conclude that there is no present and it was all a hoax and she was the butt of a horrible joke.  This undoubtedly would do some damage to her perspective.  It is not that there is an absence of a gift, it is that there is a limit to the range she is searching.

I think sometimes people can feel this same way about life.  Like someone told them that there is hope for love, joy and happiness but failed to tell them where to find it. If we just follow the crowd, they will surely lead us to the jackpot.  After years of looking in the wrong places, following the wrong advice they eventually came to the same conclusion as Solomon, “life is meaningless”.

The Bigger Picture

Maybe we need to stop limiting our perspective to just what is “under the sun”.  Maybe someone should tell my daughter that her gift may be outside of the house.  Could it be that our reason to be is there after all but we have allowed others to convince us that our world is much smaller and darker than it really is?  What if the picture that has been painted for us isn’t wide enough or tall enough or bright enough to tell the whole story as it really is?

Lots of people spend their whole lives stuck in a box never to find out that the box isn’t really locked.  They just didn’t believe there was anything outside the box or believed it was locked.

“What if the picture that has been painted for us isn’t wide enough or tall enough or bright enough to tell the whole story as it really is?”

I will tell you there is a reason to be, but it’s not “under the sun”, however when you find it, it will change how you see and experience everything “under the sun”.

It’s Right under Your Nose

If you have yet to find your reason to be, I encourage you to look one more place.  Open your Bible, read it and find out if it is true. Don’t trust me or anyone else, find out for yourself.  Don’t worry; you don’t need to believe it to read it.  That will take care of itself, if it’s true.

You will begin to find your reason to be.  Don’t believe me?  try it, I dare you!  If you don’t currently have a reason to be, you have nothing to lose.  What’s the worst that can happen? You may chase a little wind, but then, chances are you may be already doing that. Been there, done that!

I would love to talk with anyone who wants to discuss or know more about this, shoot me an email at joelsmith123@yahoo.com